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Answers

What should I do if I feel ugly?

\"\"Written byAllan Schwartz, Ph.D.\"\"Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D.
Published
Updated
Reviewed

Summary

\"A

A parent says their nearly seven-year-old daughter feels unattractive despite otherwise seeming happy. The child reports no triggering incident, and the parent asks how to help her feel better about herself.

The response recommends gathering context from teachers and observing whether the comments persist alongside changes in sleep, school attendance, or behavior.

It raises peer interactions and media comparisons as possibilities rather than established explanations.

If concern continues or broader changes appear, the answer suggests consulting the school and a child psychologist.

?

Question

Reader · Identity withheld

Hi, My almost 7yo daughter recently told me she feels ugly and she does not think she is pretty. She is a particularly attractive child. She says she has felt this way for a while.

\n

According to her nothing has happened, nobody has said anything to her, etc.

\n

How can I help her to feel better about herself. Other than this new revelation she is a normal, happy child.

\"\"

Answer

Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.

You are presenting a very puzzling but interesting question. Here, you have this very attractive 7 year old child who now believes she is ugly. Why?

\n

First, let me suggest that you not rely on your daughter saying that nothing happened. It is always a good idea to go to school and talk with her teachers to learn if anything might have happened, regardless of how small or insignificant.

For example, you could ask if how she is getting along with the other children? How is she behaving in class? Have the teachers noticed any changes in her behavior since the start of the school year?

\n

Second, is this the very first time your daughter mentioning feeling ugly? If this was the only time, I would urge you to dismiss it. However, if the same comment has come up many times, it is more indicative of a potential problem.

\n

Third, how is your child sleeping at night? If there are no sleep disturbances it is a good indication that all is well.

\n
Show moreShow less

Fourth, is she reluctant to go to school is that reluctance new? If the answers to both are yes, then something is happening at school, on the school bus or during recess.

\n

Fifth, please remember that children can be very cruel and tease one another. It is possible that another girl or girls, jealous of how attractive she is, might have called her \"ugly.\"

\n

Sixth, I hope you are screening what she watches on television. Children are very impressionable. If she is comparing herself to some actess who she views as pretty it could give rise to this type of thing.

\n

I would urge you to not take this seriously if it happened once or twice. Children can come up with \"funny ideas.\" Be observant and if you see this continuing or her behavior changing in ways that are stessful and worrisome, including her sleep, then you may need to go to school and consult a child psychologist.

\n

Best of Luck

Subject matter expert

\"\"

Carlos Protzel Psy.D.

Integrative mental health care

\"\"
Author

Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.

Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 30 years of private practice experience.

\"\"
Medical reviewer

Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.

Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…

\"\"

Related community

Family Health

Connect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home.

Related questions

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","text":"Home Answers What should I do if I feel ugly? AnswersWhat should I do if I feel ugly? Written byAllan Schwartz, Ph.D.Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D. Published June 1, 2024 Updated May 24, 2026 Reviewed September 15, 2025 SummaryQuestionAnswer Summary A parent says their nearly seven-year-old daughter feels unattractive despite otherwise seeming happy. The child reports no triggering incident, and the parent asks how to help her feel better about herself. The response recommends gathering context from teachers and observing whether the comments persist alongside changes in sleep, school attendance, or behavior. It raises peer interactions and media comparisons as possibilities rather than established explanations. If concern continues or broader changes appear, the answer suggests consulting the school and a child psychologist. ? Question Reader · Identity withheld Hi, My almost 7yo daughter recently told me she feels ugly and she does not think she is pretty. She is a particularly attractive child. She says she has felt this way for a while. According to her nothing has happened, nobody has said anything to her, etc. How can I help her to feel better about herself. Other than this new revelation she is a normal, happy child. Answer Allan Schwartz, Ph.D. You are presenting a very puzzling but interesting question. Here, you have this very attractive 7 year old child who now believes she is ugly. Why? First, let me suggest that you not rely on your daughter saying that nothing happened. It is always a good idea to go to school and talk with her teachers to learn if anything might have happened, regardless of how small or insignificant. For example, you could ask if how she is getting along with the other children? How is she behaving in class? Have the teachers noticed any changes in her behavior since the start of the school year? Second, is this the very first time your daughter mentioning feeling ugly? If this was the only time, I would urge you to dismiss it. However, if the same comment has come up many times, it is more indicative of a potential problem. Third, how is your child sleeping at night? If there are no sleep disturbances it is a good indication that all is well. Show moreShow less Fourth, is she reluctant to go to school is that reluctance new? If the answers to both are yes, then something is happening at school, on the school bus or during recess. Fifth, please remember that children can be very cruel and tease one another. It is possible that another girl or girls, jealous of how attractive she is, might have called her \"ugly.\" Sixth, I hope you are screening what she watches on television. Children are very impressionable. If she is comparing herself to some actess who she views as pretty it could give rise to this type of thing. I would urge you to not take this seriously if it happened once or twice. Children can come up with \"funny ideas.\" Be observant and if you see this continuing or her behavior changing in ways that are stessful and worrisome, including her sleep, then you may need to go to school and consult a child psychologist. Best of Luck Subject matter expert Carlos Protzel Psy.D. Integrative mental health care AuthorAllan Schwartz, Ph.D. Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 30 years of private practice experience. Medical reviewerJesse Hanson, Ph.D. Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body… Related community Family Health Connect around family relationships, shared experiences, and well-being at home. Related questions Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?Will I ever feel normal?Why does my wife of 21 years have a boyfriend?","wordCount":628},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","publishingPrinciples":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/publishing/editorial-policy"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#website","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Answers","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"What should I do if I feel ugly?","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly"}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#primaryimage","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/abfbb90542a7442a66304be4.webp","contentUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/abfbb90542a7442a66304be4.webp","width":1000,"height":667,"encodingFormat":"image/webp","caption":"A parent and child painting flowers together."},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz#person","name":"Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz","jobTitle":"LCSW, Ph.D.","image":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/3f1145a76c69b3ca318ecb8b.jpg","memberOf":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/publishing#department"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","jobTitle":"Clinical Affairs Director","image":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg","sameAs":["https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-hanson-phd-7215216/"],"memberOf":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/clinical-affairs#department"},{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/leadership#department"}]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#article","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly","headline":"What should I do if I feel ugly?","description":"A parent says their nearly seven-year-old daughter feels unattractive despite otherwise seeming happy.","wordCount":484,"mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#webpage"},"publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"},"articleSection":"Answers","inLanguage":"en-US","author":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz#person"}],"image":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#primaryimage"},"hasPart":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#question"},{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#answer"}],"citation":[],"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T20:39:07Z"},{"@type":"Question","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#question","name":"What should I do if I feel ugly?","text":"Hi, My almost 7yo daughter recently told me she feels ugly and she does not think she is pretty. She is a particularly attractive child. She says she has felt this way for a while. According to her nothing has happened, nobody has said anything to her, etc. How can I help her to feel better about herself. Other than this new revelation she is a normal, happy child.","acceptedAnswer":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#answer"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#question","answerCount":1},{"@type":"Answer","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#answer","text":"You are presenting a very puzzling but interesting question. Here, you have this very attractive 7 year old child who now believes she is ugly. Why? First, let me suggest that you not rely on your daughter saying that nothing happened. It is always a good idea to go to school and talk with her teachers to learn if anything might have happened, regardless of how small or insignificant. For example, you could ask if how she is getting along with the other children? How is she behaving in class? Have the teachers noticed any changes in her behavior since the start of the school year? Second, is this the very first time your daughter mentioning feeling ugly? If this was the only time, I would urge you to dismiss it. However, if the same comment has come up many times, it is more indicative of a potential problem. Third, how is your child sleeping at night? If there are no sleep disturbances it is a good indication that all is well. Fourth, is she reluctant to go to school is that reluctance new? If the answers to both are yes, then something is happening at school, on the school bus or during recess. Fifth, please remember that children can be very cruel and tease one another. It is possible that another girl or girls, jealous of how attractive she is, might have called her \"ugly.\" Sixth, I hope you are screening what she watches on television. Children are very impressionable. If she is comparing herself to some actess who she views as pretty it could give rise to this type of thing. I would urge you to not take this seriously if it happened once or twice. Children can come up with \"funny ideas.\" Be observant and if you see this continuing or her behavior changing in ways that are stessful and worrisome, including her sleep, then you may need to go to school and consult a child psychologist. Best of Luck","author":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz#person"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#answer"},{"@type":"MedicalWebPage","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#webpage","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly","name":"What should I do if I feel ugly?","description":"A parent says their nearly seven-year-old daughter feels unattractive despite otherwise seeming happy.","inLanguage":"en-US","isPartOf":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers#webpage"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#breadcrumb"},"mainEntity":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#article"},"publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"},"medicalAudience":{"@type":"MedicalAudience","audienceType":"General public"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#primaryimage"},"reviewedBy":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person"},"citation":[],"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T20:39:07Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"}]},"representations":{"html":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly","json":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/answers/i-feel-ugly.json","jsonLd":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/answers/i-feel-ugly.ld.json"},"$schema":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/page.schema.json","images":[{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/3f1145a76c69b3ca318ecb8b.jpg","alt":"","width":40,"height":40},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg","alt":"","width":40,"height":40},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/abfbb90542a7442a66304be4.webp","alt":"A parent and child painting flowers together.","width":1000,"height":667},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/8e1ee0ec187d4c3ff0be4ad3.jpg","alt":"","width":64,"height":64},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/48c4f4462bc660be56228199.webp","alt":"","width":1200,"height":800}],"sections":[{"id":"summary-title","title":"Summary","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#summary-title"},{"id":"question-person","title":"Question","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#question-person"},{"id":"response-person","title":"Answer","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#response-person"}],"references":[],"relatedReading":[],"links":[{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","label":"Home"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers","label":"Answers"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers","label":"Answers"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz","label":"Written byAllan Schwartz, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#summary","label":"Summary"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#question","label":"Question"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#answer","label":"Answer"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/easing-the-teasing","label":"tease one another"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/carlos-protzel","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/carlos-protzel","label":"Carlos Protzel Psy.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz","label":"Allan Schwartz, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/family-health","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/family-health","label":"Family Health"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/will-my-boyfriend-eventually-hit-me","label":"Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/will-i-ever-feel-normal","label":"Will I ever feel normal?"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/wife-of-21-years-has-a-boyfriend","label":"Why does my wife of 21 years have a boyfriend?"}],"conversation":{"status":"complete","summary":{"question":"A parent says their nearly seven-year-old daughter feels unattractive despite otherwise seeming happy. The child reports no triggering incident, and the parent asks how to help her feel better about herself.","answer":"The response recommends gathering context from teachers and observing whether the comments persist alongside changes in sleep, school attendance, or behavior. It raises peer interactions and media comparisons as possibilities rather than established explanations. If concern continues or broader changes appear, the answer suggests consulting the school and a child psychologist."},"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly","sourceReviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson"},"question":{"id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#question","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#question","html":"

Hi, My almost 7yo daughter recently told me she feels ugly and she does not think she is pretty. She is a particularly attractive child. She says she has felt this way for a while.

\n

According to her nothing has happened, nobody has said anything to her, etc.

\n

How can I help her to feel better about herself. Other than this new revelation she is a normal, happy child.

","text":"Hi, My almost 7yo daughter recently told me she feels ugly and she does not think she is pretty. She is a particularly attractive child. She says she has felt this way for a while. According to her nothing has happened, nobody has said anything to her, etc. How can I help her to feel better about herself. Other than this new revelation she is a normal, happy child."},"answer":{"id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#answer","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly#answer","html":"

You are presenting a very puzzling but interesting question. Here, you have this very attractive 7 year old child who now believes she is ugly. Why?

\n

First, let me suggest that you not rely on your daughter saying that nothing happened. It is always a good idea to go to school and talk with her teachers to learn if anything might have happened, regardless of how small or insignificant.

For example, you could ask if how she is getting along with the other children? How is she behaving in class? Have the teachers noticed any changes in her behavior since the start of the school year?

\n

Second, is this the very first time your daughter mentioning feeling ugly? If this was the only time, I would urge you to dismiss it. However, if the same comment has come up many times, it is more indicative of a potential problem.

\n

Third, how is your child sleeping at night? If there are no sleep disturbances it is a good indication that all is well.

\n

Fourth, is she reluctant to go to school is that reluctance new? If the answers to both are yes, then something is happening at school, on the school bus or during recess.

\n

Fifth, please remember that children can be very cruel and tease one another. It is possible that another girl or girls, jealous of how attractive she is, might have called her \"ugly.\"

\n

Sixth, I hope you are screening what she watches on television. Children are very impressionable. If she is comparing herself to some actess who she views as pretty it could give rise to this type of thing.

\n

I would urge you to not take this seriously if it happened once or twice. Children can come up with \"funny ideas.\" Be observant and if you see this continuing or her behavior changing in ways that are stessful and worrisome, including her sleep, then you may need to go to school and consult a child psychologist.

\n

Best of Luck

","text":"You are presenting a very puzzling but interesting question. Here, you have this very attractive 7 year old child who now believes she is ugly. Why? First, let me suggest that you not rely on your daughter saying that nothing happened. It is always a good idea to go to school and talk with her teachers to learn if anything might have happened, regardless of how small or insignificant. For example, you could ask if how she is getting along with the other children? How is she behaving in class? Have the teachers noticed any changes in her behavior since the start of the school year? Second, is this the very first time your daughter mentioning feeling ugly? If this was the only time, I would urge you to dismiss it. However, if the same comment has come up many times, it is more indicative of a potential problem. Third, how is your child sleeping at night? If there are no sleep disturbances it is a good indication that all is well. Fourth, is she reluctant to go to school is that reluctance new? If the answers to both are yes, then something is happening at school, on the school bus or during recess. Fifth, please remember that children can be very cruel and tease one another. It is possible that another girl or girls, jealous of how attractive she is, might have called her \"ugly.\" Sixth, I hope you are screening what she watches on television. Children are very impressionable. If she is comparing herself to some actess who she views as pretty it could give rise to this type of thing. I would urge you to not take this seriously if it happened once or twice. Children can come up with \"funny ideas.\" Be observant and if you see this continuing or her behavior changing in ways that are stessful and worrisome, including her sleep, then you may need to go to school and consult a child psychologist. Best of Luck","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz#person","name":"Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/allan-schwartz"}},"summaryScope":"Editorial overview of the original question and response; original review dates apply to the source conversation."},"presentation":{"updatedAt":"2026-10-03","template":"answer-conversation","imageGeneratedAt":"2026-10-03"},"seo":{"title":"How can I help my young daughter who feels ugly?","description":"A parent says their nearly seven-year-old daughter feels unattractive despite otherwise seeming happy.","canonical":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-feel-ugly","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/f7d19272dd5d30590dddbab9.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Answers","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"answers"}},"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Carlos Protzel, Psy.D.","url":"/people/carlos-protzel","profileId":"13151","topic":"wellbeing","focus":"Integrative mental health care","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"navigation":[{"label":"Summary","href":"#summary"},{"label":"Question","href":"#question"},{"label":"Answer","href":"#answer"}],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/family-health","basis":"topic match"},"collections":[]}