{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","path":"/answers/i-like-men-and-women","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","title":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","family":"Answers detail","description":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"public","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","wordpressId":"6169","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers"}],"reviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson"},"dates":{"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T19:28:40Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"},"content":{"html":"<nav aria-label=\"Breadcrumb\" class=\"breadcrumbs\"><ol><li><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/\">Home</a></li><li><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers\">Answers</a></li><li><span aria-current=\"page\">What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?</span></li></ol></nav><div class=\"article-page answer-page\" data-answer-template=\"conversation\"><header class=\"answer-heading article-heading\"><a class=\"answer-back\" href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers\">Answers</a><h1>What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?</h1><div class=\"answer-credits\"><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers\"><img alt=\"\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/80b8e1a76768e1ea081ddaf9.jpg\" width=\"40\" decoding=\"async\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Written by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Ann Landers</span></span></a><a class=\"answer-credit-person\" href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson\"><img alt=\"\" height=\"40\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg\" width=\"40\" decoding=\"async\"><span><span class=\"answer-credit-role\">Medically reviewed by</span><span class=\"answer-credit-name\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</span></span></a></div><dl class=\"answer-heading-dates\"><div><dt>Published</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z\">June 1, 2024</time></dd></div><div><dt>Updated</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2026-05-24T19:28:40Z\">May 24, 2026</time></dd></div><div><dt>Reviewed</dt><dd><time datetime=\"2025-09-15\">September 15, 2025</time></dd></div></dl><p class=\"article-content-note\" data-sensitive-content=\"true\"><span>Content note:</span> Some readers may find parts of this discussion sensitive.</p></header><nav aria-label=\"Answer navigation\" class=\"answer-nav\"><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#summary\" aria-current=\"location\">Summary</a><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question\">Question</a><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer\">Answer</a></nav><article aria-label=\"Reader question and professional response\" class=\"prose\" data-answer-thread=\"\" id=\"article-content\"><section aria-labelledby=\"summary-title\" class=\"answer-overview\" id=\"summary\"><h2 id=\"summary-title\">Summary</h2><figure class=\"answer-question-image\"><img alt=\"Three young adults talking together on a campus lawn.\" fetchpriority=\"high\" height=\"667\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/8eb75136755dc15da1501bef.webp\" width=\"1000\" decoding=\"auto\"></figure><p>A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay. The uncertainty is affecting his grades and willingness to socialize.</p><p>The response explains that attraction to more than one gender can be bisexuality and does not make the reader unusual.</p><p>It encourages learning about sexuality, choosing carefully when to share personal information, and seeking friendships with people who make an effort to understand.</p><p>It also urges maintaining attention to school while the reader explores feelings and identity over time.</p></section><div class=\"answer-originals\" id=\"original-conversation\"><div class=\"answer-originals-body\"><section aria-labelledby=\"question-person\" class=\"answer-post answer-question\" id=\"question\"><div aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"answer-avatar answer-reader\">?</div><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"question-person\">Question</h2><span>Reader · Identity withheld</span></header><p>I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. </p>\n<p>Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. </p>\n<p>Is this weird? </p>\n<p>I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. </p>\n<p>I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?</p></div></section><section aria-labelledby=\"response-person\" class=\"answer-post answer-response\" id=\"answer\"><a aria-label=\"View Ann Landers profile\" class=\"answer-avatar\" href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers\"><img alt=\"\" height=\"44\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/80b8e1a76768e1ea081ddaf9.jpg\" width=\"44\" decoding=\"async\"></a><div class=\"answer-post-content\"><header class=\"answer-person\"><h2 id=\"response-person\">Answer</h2><span>Ann Landers</span></header><p>It is possible to be <a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/sexual-orientation\" class=\"article-inline-link\" data-context-link=\"358\">bisexual</a>. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. </p><p>Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time.</p>\n<p>You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. </p><p>If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though.</p>\n<p>Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. </p>\n<p>Best of luck, – Anne</p></div></section></div></div><section aria-label=\"Subject matter expert\" class=\"article-expert article-expert-inline\" data-expert-kind=\"related\" data-expert-layout=\"standard\"><p class=\"article-bio-role\">Subject matter expert</p><div class=\"article-expert-identity\"><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/carlos-protzel\" class=\"card-identity-photo\" aria-label=\"Carlos Protzel  Psy.D.\"><img alt=\"\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/8e1ee0ec187d4c3ff0be4ad3.jpg\" width=\"64\" decoding=\"async\"></a><h2><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/carlos-protzel\">Carlos Protzel <span class=\"expert-credentials\">Psy.D.</span></a></h2></div><p class=\"article-expert-focus\">Integrative mental health care</p></section></article><div class=\"answer-endmatter\"><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers\" aria-label=\"View Ann Landers profile\"><img alt=\"\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/80b8e1a76768e1ea081ddaf9.jpg\" width=\"64\" decoding=\"async\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Author</span><h2><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers\">Ann Landers</a></h2><p>Ann Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide.</p></div></section><section class=\"answer-author-card answer-reviewer-card\"><a class=\"answer-card-avatar\" href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson\" aria-label=\"View Jesse Hanson, Ph.D. profile\"><img alt=\"\" height=\"64\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg\" width=\"64\" decoding=\"async\"></a><div><span class=\"answer-reviewer-label\">Medical reviewer</span><h2><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson\">Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.</a></h2><p>Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…</p></div></section><section aria-label=\"Related community\" class=\"article-topic-community article-topic-community-end\"><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/relationships\" class=\"card-identity-photo\" aria-label=\"Relationships\"><img alt=\"\" class=\"topic-community-banner\" height=\"675\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/1c570f0bba9d0bc34f6deadd.webp\" width=\"1200\" decoding=\"async\" srcset=\"/assets/responsive/648af61e83da2426fce724bd.webp 800w, /assets/optimized/1c570f0bba9d0bc34f6deadd.webp 1200w\" sizes=\"(min-width: 961px) 236px, calc(100vw - 80px)\"></a><p class=\"topic-community-label\">Related community</p><h2><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/relationships\">Relationships</a></h2><p>Connect around communication, closeness, boundaries, and the relationships that matter to you.</p></section><section class=\"answer-related\"><h2>Related questions</h2><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/im-always-attracted-to-men-who-dont-want-me-what-can-i-do\">How can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?</a><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her\">Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?</a><a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/will-my-boyfriend-eventually-hit-me\">Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?</a></section></div></div>","text":"Home Answers What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women? AnswersWhat does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women? Written byAnn LandersMedically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D. Published June 1, 2024 Updated May 24, 2026 Reviewed September 15, 2025 Content note: Some readers may find parts of this discussion sensitive. SummaryQuestionAnswer Summary A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay. The uncertainty is affecting his grades and willingness to socialize. The response explains that attraction to more than one gender can be bisexuality and does not make the reader unusual. It encourages learning about sexuality, choosing carefully when to share personal information, and seeking friendships with people who make an effort to understand. It also urges maintaining attention to school while the reader explores feelings and identity over time. ? Question Reader · Identity withheld I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out? Answer Ann Landers It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – Anne Subject matter expert Carlos Protzel Psy.D. Integrative mental health care AuthorAnn Landers Ann Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide. Medical reviewerJesse Hanson, Ph.D. Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body… Related community Relationships Connect around communication, closeness, boundaries, and the relationships that matter to you. Related questions How can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?","wordCount":539},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","publishingPrinciples":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/publishing/editorial-policy"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#website","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Answers","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women"}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#primaryimage","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/8eb75136755dc15da1501bef.webp","contentUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/8eb75136755dc15da1501bef.webp","width":1000,"height":667,"encodingFormat":"image/webp","caption":"Three young adults talking together on a campus lawn."},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers","jobTitle":"Writer (In remembrance)","image":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/80b8e1a76768e1ea081ddaf9.jpg","memberOf":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/publishing#department"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","jobTitle":"Clinical Affairs Director","image":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg","sameAs":["https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-hanson-phd-7215216/"],"memberOf":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/clinical-affairs#department"},{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/leadership#department"}]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#article","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","headline":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","description":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay.","wordCount":372,"mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#webpage"},"publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"},"articleSection":"Answers","inLanguage":"en-US","author":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers#person"}],"image":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#primaryimage"},"hasPart":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question"},{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer"}],"citation":[],"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T19:28:40Z"},{"@type":"Question","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","name":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","text":"I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?","acceptedAnswer":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","answerCount":1},{"@type":"Answer","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer","text":"It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – Anne","author":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers#person"},"inLanguage":"en-US","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer"},{"@type":"MedicalWebPage","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#webpage","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","name":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","description":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay.","inLanguage":"en-US","isPartOf":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers#webpage"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#breadcrumb"},"mainEntity":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#article"},"publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"},"medicalAudience":{"@type":"MedicalAudience","audienceType":"General public"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#primaryimage"},"reviewedBy":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person"},"citation":[],"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:12Z","dateModified":"2026-05-24T19:28:40Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"}]},"representations":{"html":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","json":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/answers/i-like-men-and-women.json","jsonLd":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/answers/i-like-men-and-women.ld.json"},"$schema":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/page.schema.json","images":[{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/80b8e1a76768e1ea081ddaf9.jpg","alt":"","width":40,"height":40},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/73305651cb93afbdebb69a9a.jpg","alt":"","width":40,"height":40},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/8eb75136755dc15da1501bef.webp","alt":"Three young adults talking together on a campus lawn.","width":1000,"height":667},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/8e1ee0ec187d4c3ff0be4ad3.jpg","alt":"","width":64,"height":64},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/1c570f0bba9d0bc34f6deadd.webp","alt":"","width":1200,"height":675}],"sections":[{"id":"summary-title","title":"Summary","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#summary-title"},{"id":"question-person","title":"Question","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question-person"},{"id":"response-person","title":"Answer","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#response-person"}],"references":[],"relatedReading":[],"links":[{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","label":"Home"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers","label":"Answers"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers","label":"Answers"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers","label":"Written byAnn Landers"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#summary","label":"Summary"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","label":"Question"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer","label":"Answer"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/sexual-orientation","label":"bisexual"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/carlos-protzel","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/carlos-protzel","label":"Carlos Protzel Psy.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers","label":"Ann Landers"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson","label":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/relationships","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/relationships","label":"Relationships"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/im-always-attracted-to-men-who-dont-want-me-what-can-i-do","label":"How can I stop being attracted to men who don’t want me?"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/can-a-psychologist-tell-his-patient-that-he-is-attracted-to-her","label":"Can a psychologist tell his patient that he is attracted to her?"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/will-my-boyfriend-eventually-hit-me","label":"Will my boyfriend eventually hit me?"}],"conversation":{"status":"complete","summary":{"question":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay. The uncertainty is affecting his grades and willingness to socialize.","answer":"The response explains that attraction to more than one gender can be bisexuality and does not make the reader unusual. It encourages learning about sexuality, choosing carefully when to share personal information, and seeking friendships with people who make an effort to understand. It also urges maintaining attention to school while the reader explores feelings and identity over time."},"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","sourceReviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson"},"question":{"id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#question","html":"<p>I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. </p>\n<p>Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. </p>\n<p>Is this weird? </p>\n<p>I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. </p>\n<p>I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?</p>","text":"I‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?"},"answer":{"id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women#answer","html":"<p>It is possible to be <a href=\"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/sexual-orientation\" class=\"article-inline-link\" data-context-link=\"358\">bisexual</a>. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. </p><p>Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time.</p>\n<p>You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. </p><p>If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though.</p>\n<p>Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. </p>\n<p>Best of luck, – Anne</p>","text":"It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time. You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though. Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – Anne","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers"}},"summaryScope":"Editorial overview of the original question and response; original review dates apply to the source conversation."},"presentation":{"updatedAt":"2026-10-03","template":"answer-conversation","imageGeneratedAt":"2026-10-03"},"seo":{"title":"What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?","description":"A 20-year-old male college student is attracted to both men and women and fears losing friends if he is gay.","canonical":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/i-like-men-and-women","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/f7d19272dd5d30590dddbab9.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Answers","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"answers"}},"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Carlos Protzel, Psy.D.","url":"/people/carlos-protzel","profileId":"13151","topic":"wellbeing","focus":"Integrative mental health care","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"navigation":[{"label":"Summary","href":"#summary"},{"label":"Question","href":"#question"},{"label":"Answer","href":"#answer"}],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/relationships","basis":"topic match"},"collections":[]}