{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/my-wife-and-her-sister","path":"/answers/my-wife-and-her-sister","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/my-wife-and-her-sister","title":"What should I do about my wife and her sister?","family":"Answers detail","description":"A husband is upset by his wife’s sexual involvement with her sister and by pressure to film it. He says the behavior continues and asks how to respond.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"public","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/my-wife-and-her-sister","wordpressId":"6242","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers"}],"reviewer":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson#person","name":"Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/jesse-hanson"},"dates":{"datePublished":"2024-06-01T00:35:15Z","dateModified":"2025-09-07T07:27:05Z","lastReviewed":"2025-09-15"},"content":{"html":"
Answers

What should I do about my wife and her sister?

\"\"Written byAnn Landers\"\"Medically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D.
Published
Updated
Reviewed

Summary

\"Two

A husband is upset by his wife’s sexual involvement with her sister and by pressure to film it. He says the behavior continues and asks how to respond.

The answer urges him to express his feelings and make his unhappiness with the situation clear rather than assuming his wife understands it.

It suggests discussing what is happening and seeking couples counseling to explore the relationship issues, while acknowledging that the reasons for her behavior are uncertain.

?

Question

Reader · Identity withheld

I have been married to my wife for 4 years. Twice I have come home and found her making love to her sister. They act like it’s no big deal and they want me to film them. I don’t know how to handle it, and they won’t stop.

\"\"

Answer

Ann Landers

If your wife’s actions bother you, let her know! Have you discussed this situation with her? Let her know how you feel. In a sense, she is being unfaithful to you, although she may not see it that way. What would you do if you came home and found her with another man? You would probably make your feelings more evident…right? Ask her why she is doing it.

\n

Often times spouses cheat either because their needs aren’t being met or because they have fallen in love with someone else. I’m guessing your wife isn’t in love with her sister. Is there any reason your wife may be feeling ignored?

\n

Another possibility is that she is experimenting with her sexuality and feels safer doing so with her sister. No matter what the reason is, you are expressing unhappiness about the situation. I suggest that the two of you seek couples counseling. It is my guess that her actions have underlying causes…

\n

Hope things work out, – Anne

Subject matter expert

\"\"

Carlos Protzel Psy.D.

Integrative mental health care

View profile
\"\"
Author

Ann Landers

Ann Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide.

\"\"
Medical reviewer

Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.

Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body…

\"\"

Related community

Marriage

A space for perspectives on partnership, communication, and the changing experiences of married life.

Related questions

Why does my wife of 21 years have a boyfriend?Why does my wife’s old boyfriend bother me?How should I deal with my wife’s past?
","text":"Home Answers What should I do about my wife and her sister? AnswersWhat should I do about my wife and her sister? Written byAnn LandersMedically reviewed byJesse Hanson, Ph.D. Published June 1, 2024 Updated September 7, 2025 Reviewed September 15, 2025 SummaryQuestionAnswer Summary A husband is upset by his wife’s sexual involvement with her sister and by pressure to film it. He says the behavior continues and asks how to respond. The answer urges him to express his feelings and make his unhappiness with the situation clear rather than assuming his wife understands it. It suggests discussing what is happening and seeking couples counseling to explore the relationship issues, while acknowledging that the reasons for her behavior are uncertain. ? Question Reader · Identity withheld I have been married to my wife for 4 years. Twice I have come home and found her making love to her sister. They act like it’s no big deal and they want me to film them. I don’t know how to handle it, and they won’t stop. Answer Ann Landers If your wife’s actions bother you, let her know! Have you discussed this situation with her? Let her know how you feel. In a sense, she is being unfaithful to you, although she may not see it that way. What would you do if you came home and found her with another man? You would probably make your feelings more evident…right? Ask her why she is doing it. Often times spouses cheat either because their needs aren’t being met or because they have fallen in love with someone else. I’m guessing your wife isn’t in love with her sister. Is there any reason your wife may be feeling ignored? Another possibility is that she is experimenting with her sexuality and feels safer doing so with her sister. No matter what the reason is, you are expressing unhappiness about the situation. I suggest that the two of you seek couples counseling. It is my guess that her actions have underlying causes… Hope things work out, – Anne Subject matter expert Carlos Protzel Psy.D. Integrative mental health care View profile AuthorAnn Landers Ann Landers was the leading advice columnist for 47 years, with her widely syndicated columns reaching 90 million readers worldwide. Medical reviewerJesse Hanson, Ph.D. Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a clinical and somatic psychologist with over 20 years of experience in neuropsychology, specializing in integrative, mind-body… Related community Marriage A space for perspectives on partnership, communication, and the changing experiences of married life. 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I have been married to my wife for 4 years. Twice I have come home and found her making love to her sister. They act like it’s no big deal and they want me to film them. I don’t know how to handle it, and they won’t stop.

","text":"I have been married to my wife for 4 years. Twice I have come home and found her making love to her sister. They act like it’s no big deal and they want me to film them. I don’t know how to handle it, and they won’t stop."},"answer":{"id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/my-wife-and-her-sister#answer","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/my-wife-and-her-sister#answer","html":"

If your wife’s actions bother you, let her know! Have you discussed this situation with her? Let her know how you feel. In a sense, she is being unfaithful to you, although she may not see it that way. What would you do if you came home and found her with another man? You would probably make your feelings more evident…right? Ask her why she is doing it.

\n

Often times spouses cheat either because their needs aren’t being met or because they have fallen in love with someone else. I’m guessing your wife isn’t in love with her sister. Is there any reason your wife may be feeling ignored?

\n

Another possibility is that she is experimenting with her sexuality and feels safer doing so with her sister. No matter what the reason is, you are expressing unhappiness about the situation. I suggest that the two of you seek couples counseling. It is my guess that her actions have underlying causes…

\n

Hope things work out, – Anne

","text":"If your wife’s actions bother you, let her know! Have you discussed this situation with her? Let her know how you feel. In a sense, she is being unfaithful to you, although she may not see it that way. What would you do if you came home and found her with another man? You would probably make your feelings more evident…right? Ask her why she is doing it. Often times spouses cheat either because their needs aren’t being met or because they have fallen in love with someone else. I’m guessing your wife isn’t in love with her sister. Is there any reason your wife may be feeling ignored? Another possibility is that she is experimenting with her sexuality and feels safer doing so with her sister. No matter what the reason is, you are expressing unhappiness about the situation. I suggest that the two of you seek couples counseling. It is my guess that her actions have underlying causes… Hope things work out, – Anne","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers#person","name":"Ann Landers","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/anne-landers"}},"summaryScope":"Editorial overview of the original question and response; original review dates apply to the source conversation."},"presentation":{"updatedAt":"2026-10-03","template":"answer-conversation","imageGeneratedAt":"2026-10-03"},"seo":{"title":"How do I respond to my wife’s sexual involvement with her sister?","description":"A husband is upset by his wife’s sexual involvement with her sister and by pressure to film it. He says the behavior continues and asks how to respond.","canonical":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/answers/my-wife-and-her-sister","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/f7d19272dd5d30590dddbab9.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Answers","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"answers"}},"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Carlos Protzel, Psy.D.","url":"/people/carlos-protzel","profileId":"13151","topic":"wellbeing","focus":"Integrative mental health care","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"navigation":[{"label":"Summary","href":"#summary"},{"label":"Question","href":"#question"},{"label":"Answer","href":"#answer"}],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/marriage","basis":"topic match"},"collections":[]}