{"formatVersion":"1.1","id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","path":"/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","title":"Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone","family":"Library detail","description":"Learn strategies for single people to navigate the holiday season and combat loneliness.","language":"en-US","access":{"audience":"public","indexable":true},"provenance":{"sourceUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","wordpressId":"5605","contentCompleteness":"complete","dateScope":"original-source"},"authors":[{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly#person","name":"Sally Connolly","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly"}],"dates":{"datePublished":"2011-12-19T05:00:00Z","dateModified":"2025-09-08T11:55:22Z"},"content":{"html":"

Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone

Written by \"\"Sally Connolly

Published on · Updated on

Are you single and feeling lonely and alone this holiday season? If so, you are not alone…in those feelings.

What is it about the holidays that makes single people feel more lonely than at any other time in the year?

Some of it is because of the media. Movies, television shows and even commercials share stories that can highlight the “different-ness” of those not coupled. Holiday invitations and parties include spouses and guests and attending alone can feel lonely.

The holidays tend to highlight many emotions, both good and bad. When loneliness is prevalent, it is often hard not to focus on the alone and loneliness more than other emotions and thoughts.

There are, however, things that you can do to build a way of thinking and acting that allows you the ability to enjoy your life, even when you are alone. Here are some strategies for you to employ right now to help you survive and maybe even thrive through this season.

\"A

Key takeaways

  • Holiday expectations and images of togetherness can intensify loneliness for people spending the season alone.
  • Realistic plans, chosen companionship, and helping others can create opportunities for meaning and connection.
  • Keeping valued rituals or developing new ones can support continuity during periods of change.

1. Accept the Fact that you ARE Single and Embrace the Good Parts of “Single-hood”.

Don’t allow thoughts or feelings of desperation to seduce you into doing things that do not fit with who you are just to find a partner. This is especially important if you are newly single. Take things slowly and learn to appreciate the many good things of being “un-partnered”.

You may need to spend some time grieving a lost relationship. If that is the case, then talk out loud about it. Write about it. Cry about it, if that helps. Do a little work to understand the meaning of it in your life and then find ways to let it go, at least for awhile.

Be kind to yourself.

Subject matter expert

\"\"

Rick Hanson Ph.D.

Neuropsychology, mindfulness, and relationships

View profile

2. Meet the Holidays with Realistic Expectations

You may fantasize about your hopes and dreams for the holidays, however, it may only BE hopes and dreams. Be realistic about yourself and your life as you move into the holidays.

Look for small positive things and focus on them rather than what is missing. Look for ways to create meaning in these holidays for yourself that are realistic.

3. Share the Holidays with Others

This may be a good time to spend with another family … or not. Sometimes when you are with others who are connected, it only makes your connections more noticeable. Have a conversation with yourself and decide whether or not this is a good plan for you.

Instead, you might want to pass the word around the office or neighborhood that you will be on your own and find out if there are others who might be alone as well.

Start an “orphan family” tradition for others who are also without family. Adopt each other for the season.

4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

Rather than focusing on what is missing, pay attention to the goodness present. Begin a holiday gratitude journal by writing each night about what you are grateful for that day.

The more that you think and talk about the good in your life, the more you will feel the good in your life. When you change your thoughts and actions, feelings will eventually catch up.

5. Do Something for Others

Do something for others even if you don’t think you will receive thanks. The act of thinking about another person and doing something special for them helps put your own life in a different perspective. It feels good to help someone else and lift their burden.

6. Honor Some Old Rituals and Consider Developing New Ones

Rituals help promote a sense of well-being. Old ones can provide a sense of continuity through times of transition while developing new ones aids in accommodating to new situations.

Evaluate which rituals you want to keep and consider developing any new ones that might mark the positive things about you or your life right now.

Above all, remember that the holidays are only a few weeks. They do not last forever and you will find yourself ready to embark on a new year.

About MentalHealth.com

MentalHealth.com helps people understand themselves, build healthier relationships, and access the right care. We bring together mental health education, diagnostics, and care management to support well-being throughout every phase of life.

\"\"

Author

Sally Connolly, LCSW

LCSW, LMFT

Sally Connolly has been a therapist for over 30 years, specializing in work with couples, families, and relationships. She has expertise with clients both present in the room as well as online through email, phone, and chat therapy.

Published
Updated
\"\"

Related community

Emotional Health

Explore feelings, self-awareness, and the emotional experiences that shape everyday life.

","text":"Home Library Self-Care Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone Written by Sally Connolly Published on December 19, 2011 · Updated on September 8, 2025 Are you single and feeling lonely and alone this holiday season? If so, you are not alone…in those feelings. What is it about the holidays that makes single people feel more lonely than at any other time in the year? Some of it is because of the media. Movies, television shows and even commercials share stories that can highlight the “different-ness” of those not coupled. Holiday invitations and parties include spouses and guests and attending alone can feel lonely. The holidays tend to highlight many emotions, both good and bad. When loneliness is prevalent, it is often hard not to focus on the alone and loneliness more than other emotions and thoughts. There are, however, things that you can do to build a way of thinking and acting that allows you the ability to enjoy your life, even when you are alone. Here are some strategies for you to employ right now to help you survive and maybe even thrive through this season. Key takeaways Holiday expectations and images of togetherness can intensify loneliness for people spending the season alone. Realistic plans, chosen companionship, and helping others can create opportunities for meaning and connection. Keeping valued rituals or developing new ones can support continuity during periods of change. 1. Accept the Fact that you ARE Single and Embrace the Good Parts of “Single-hood”. Don’t allow thoughts or feelings of desperation to seduce you into doing things that do not fit with who you are just to find a partner. This is especially important if you are newly single. Take things slowly and learn to appreciate the many good things of being “un-partnered”. You may need to spend some time grieving a lost relationship. If that is the case, then talk out loud about it. Write about it. Cry about it, if that helps. Do a little work to understand the meaning of it in your life and then find ways to let it go, at least for awhile. Be kind to yourself. Subject matter expert Rick Hanson Ph.D. Neuropsychology, mindfulness, and relationships View profile 2. Meet the Holidays with Realistic Expectations You may fantasize about your hopes and dreams for the holidays, however, it may only BE hopes and dreams. Be realistic about yourself and your life as you move into the holidays. Look for small positive things and focus on them rather than what is missing. Look for ways to create meaning in these holidays for yourself that are realistic. 3. Share the Holidays with Others This may be a good time to spend with another family … or not. Sometimes when you are with others who are connected, it only makes your connections more noticeable. Have a conversation with yourself and decide whether or not this is a good plan for you. Instead, you might want to pass the word around the office or neighborhood that you will be on your own and find out if there are others who might be alone as well. Start an “orphan family” tradition for others who are also without family. Adopt each other for the season. 4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude Rather than focusing on what is missing, pay attention to the goodness present. Begin a holiday gratitude journal by writing each night about what you are grateful for that day. The more that you think and talk about the good in your life, the more you will feel the good in your life. When you change your thoughts and actions, feelings will eventually catch up. 5. Do Something for Others Do something for others even if you don’t think you will receive thanks. The act of thinking about another person and doing something special for them helps put your own life in a different perspective. It feels good to help someone else and lift their burden. 6. Honor Some Old Rituals and Consider Developing New Ones Rituals help promote a sense of well-being. Old ones can provide a sense of continuity through times of transition while developing new ones aids in accommodating to new situations. Evaluate which rituals you want to keep and consider developing any new ones that might mark the positive things about you or your life right now. Above all, remember that the holidays are only a few weeks. They do not last forever and you will find yourself ready to embark on a new year. About MentalHealth.com MentalHealth.com helps people understand themselves, build healthier relationships, and access the right care. We bring together mental health education, diagnostics, and care management to support well-being throughout every phase of life. Author Sally Connolly, LCSW LCSW, LMFT Sally Connolly has been a therapist for over 30 years, specializing in work with couples, families, and relationships. She has expertise with clients both present in the room as well as online through email, phone, and chat therapy. Published December 19, 2011 Updated September 8, 2025 Related community Emotional Health Explore feelings, self-awareness, and the emotional experiences that shape everyday life. Table of contentsChoose a section 1. Embracing the good parts of being single 2. Meet the Holidays with Realistic Expectations 3. Share the Holidays with Others 4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude 5. Do Something for Others 6. Honor Some Old Rituals and Consider Developing New Ones View more","wordCount":909},"schema":{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization","name":"MentalHealth.com","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","publishingPrinciples":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/publishing/editorial-policy"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#website","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","name":"MentalHealth.com","inLanguage":"en-US","publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"}},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Library","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Self-Care","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/self-care"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone","item":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies"}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#primaryimage","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/48c4f4462bc660be56228199.webp","contentUrl":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/48c4f4462bc660be56228199.webp","width":1200,"height":800,"encodingFormat":"image/webp","caption":"A couple talks and smiles together on a sofa."},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly#person","name":"Sally Connolly","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly","jobTitle":"LCSW, LMFT","image":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/c09cb1d34127f0c27774e331.jpg","sameAs":["https://www.linkedin.com/in/sallyconnolly/"],"memberOf":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/publishing#department"}]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#article","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","headline":"Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone","description":"Learn strategies for single people to navigate the holiday season and combat loneliness.","wordCount":719,"mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#webpage"},"publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"},"articleSection":"Self-Care","inLanguage":"en-US","author":[{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly#person"}],"image":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#primaryimage"},"about":{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/self-care#topic","name":"Self-Care"},"datePublished":"2011-12-19T05:00:00Z","dateModified":"2025-09-08T11:55:22Z"},{"@type":"MedicalWebPage","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#webpage","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","name":"Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone","description":"Learn strategies for single people to navigate the holiday season and combat loneliness.","inLanguage":"en-US","isPartOf":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/self-care#webpage"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#breadcrumb"},"mainEntity":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#article"},"relatedLink":["https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/facing-grief-and-loss-during-the-holidays","https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/5-strategies-for-managing-anxiety","https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/personal-development","https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/conquering-inertia","https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/assertiveness-training","https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/rick-hanson"],"publisher":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/#organization"},"medicalAudience":{"@type":"MedicalAudience","audienceType":"General public"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#primaryimage"},"about":{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/self-care#topic","name":"Self-Care"},"datePublished":"2011-12-19T05:00:00Z","dateModified":"2025-09-08T11:55:22Z"}]},"representations":{"html":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","json":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies.json","jsonLd":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies.ld.json"},"$schema":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/data/page.schema.json","images":[{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/c09cb1d34127f0c27774e331.jpg","alt":"","width":22,"height":22},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/48c4f4462bc660be56228199.webp","alt":"A couple talks and smiles together on a sofa.","width":1200,"height":800},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/b17535786ff5410e6009e17a.jpg","alt":"","width":64,"height":64},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/2fb1cba1bd2172792e933c1c.webp","alt":"","width":1200,"height":600}],"sections":[{"id":"key-takeaways","title":"Key takeaways","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#key-takeaways"},{"id":"1-embracing-the-good-parts-of-being-single","title":"1. Accept the Fact that you ARE Single and Embrace the Good Parts of “Single-hood”.","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#1-embracing-the-good-parts-of-being-single"},{"id":"2-meet-the-holidays-with-realistic-expectations","title":"2. Meet the Holidays with Realistic Expectations","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#2-meet-the-holidays-with-realistic-expectations"},{"id":"3-share-the-holidays-with-others","title":"3. Share the Holidays with Others","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#3-share-the-holidays-with-others"},{"id":"4-develop-an-attitude-of-gratitude","title":"4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#4-develop-an-attitude-of-gratitude"},{"id":"5-do-something-for-others","title":"5. Do Something for Others","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#5-do-something-for-others"},{"id":"6-honor-some-old-rituals-and-consider-developing-new-ones","title":"6. Honor Some Old Rituals and Consider Developing New Ones","level":2,"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#6-honor-some-old-rituals-and-consider-developing-new-ones"}],"references":[],"relatedReading":[],"links":[{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/","label":"Home"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library","label":"Library"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/self-care","label":"Self-Care"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly","label":"Sally Connolly"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/loneliness-a-health-hazard","label":"loneliness"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/grief-bereavement","label":"grieving a lost relationship"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/rick-hanson","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/rick-hanson","label":"Rick Hanson Ph.D."},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/rick-hanson","label":"View profile"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/people/sally-connolly","label":"Sally Connolly, LCSW"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/emotional-health","label":""},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/community/emotional-health","label":"Emotional Health"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#1-embracing-the-good-parts-of-being-single","label":"1. Embracing the good parts of being single"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#2-meet-the-holidays-with-realistic-expectations","label":"2. Meet the Holidays with Realistic Expectations"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#3-share-the-holidays-with-others","label":"3. Share the Holidays with Others"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#4-develop-an-attitude-of-gratitude","label":"4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#5-do-something-for-others","label":"5. Do Something for Others"},{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies#6-honor-some-old-rituals-and-consider-developing-new-ones","label":"6. Honor Some Old Rituals and Consider Developing New Ones"}],"seo":{"title":"Spending the Holidays Alone: Six Ways to Cope","description":"Learn strategies for single people to navigate the holiday season and combat loneliness.","canonical":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies","robots":"index,follow","socialImage":{"url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/assets/optimized/ec9b0cb47c0207d45e88634d.png","width":1200,"height":630,"alt":"MentalHealth.com — Library","type":"image/png","sitemapGroup":"library"}},"breadcrumbs":[{"name":"Home","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/"},{"name":"Library","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library"},{"name":"Self-Care","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/self-care"},{"name":"Strategies for Surviving the Holidays Alone","url":"https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/single-and-alone-for-the-holidays-6-strategies"}],"subjectMatterExpert":{"name":"Rick Hanson, Ph.D.","url":"/people/rick-hanson","profileId":"6422","topic":"resilience","focus":"Neuropsychology, mindfulness, and relationships","selectionBasis":"Documented expertise in the existing published profile","reviewAttribution":false},"keyTakeaways":["Holiday expectations and images of togetherness can intensify loneliness for people spending the season alone.","Realistic plans, chosen companionship, and helping others can create opportunities for meaning and connection.","Keeping valued rituals or developing new ones can support continuity during periods of change."],"navigation":[{"label":"1. Embracing the good parts of being single","href":"#1-embracing-the-good-parts-of-being-single","heading":"1. Accept the Fact that you ARE Single and Embrace the Good Parts of “Single-hood”."},{"label":"2. Meet the Holidays with Realistic Expectations","href":"#2-meet-the-holidays-with-realistic-expectations","heading":"2. Meet the Holidays with Realistic Expectations"},{"label":"3. Share the Holidays with Others","href":"#3-share-the-holidays-with-others","heading":"3. Share the Holidays with Others"},{"label":"4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude","href":"#4-develop-an-attitude-of-gratitude","heading":"4. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude"},{"label":"5. Do Something for Others","href":"#5-do-something-for-others","heading":"5. Do Something for Others"},{"label":"6. Honor Some Old Rituals and Consider Developing New Ones","href":"#6-honor-some-old-rituals-and-consider-developing-new-ones","heading":"6. Honor Some Old Rituals and Consider Developing New Ones"}],"relatedCommunity":{"community":"/community/emotional-health","basis":"topic match"},"reviewer":null,"introduction":null,"collections":[]}