Rituals Enhance Relationships

Profile image placeholder
Author: Sally Connolly Last updated:
This content from MentalHelp.net will be updated by March 31, 2025. Learn more

What rituals do you have in your relationships?

Have you stopped to think much about your rituals and recognized their importance in your life and in your relationships?

Rituals are regular and predictable behaviors or activities with agreed upon “rules” and have developed over time.

They provide a sense of meaning, connection, continuity and order. Once a ritual is established, people generally look forward to them and feel uncomfortable or disappointed if they don’t occur.

Tom and Jane have a regular “happy hour” each weekday. They are more likely to drink a cup of coffee or tea than a glass of wine; however, they make sure to spend 20 minutes each night just talking over their day. The children have learned that this is a special time for their parents and, while they may try to get in the middle, they generally respect this break. Both Tom and Jane have said that it has become such an important habit that they feel a loss if it doesn’t happen.

Rituals can create memories that last a lifetime. Some of the research also shows that families who have regular rituals like family dinner time also have children with fewer behavior problems.

Adam and Joan have a ritual in their family. Dinner is a protected time and they go around the table asking each family member to share one “high” from their day. There is no judgment about choices, rather a celebration of what each person thinks has been good in their life that day.

Some rituals are private and invisible to anyone but those who participate like beginning Sunday morning by making love or 15 minutes of meditation every morning.

Other rituals are public or involve several households such as a Thanksgiving meal, annual Derby party or family trip to the beach every year.

The sense of security and positive feelings that rituals evoke can be comforting even in tough times. How many of you have carried over rituals from your childhood and may even struggle with your spouse about ways to incorporate some of them into your rituals as a couple?

When Shannon and Bernie married, it took them a few years to figure out how to handle holidays. Both wanted the security and comfort of being with their own family. Bernie even wanted to wake up in his childhood bed on Christmas morning!

Now they have rituals that include new ones of their own but also have some from their childhood and plan to pass these special celebrations on to their children.

For me, working out each morning is a very important ritual. Not only is it good for my physical health, but also my mental health. There is something about that “alone time” that I really count on to start off my day.

Meeting with a special group of friends every second Wednesday of the month is important as well. Staying connected with these special people helps me keep my life in perspective.

What rituals are important for you in your life and in the lives of your family? Think about them, talk them over with your family and friends. Celebrate them as a way of celebrating your relationships.

About MentalHealth.com

MentalHealth.com is a health technology company guiding people towards self-understanding and connection. The platform offers reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its mission involves educating, supporting, and empowering people in their pursuit of well-being.

Content Disclaimer

The content on this page was originally from MentalHelp.net, a website we acquired and moved to MentalHealth.com in September 2024. This content has not yet been fully updated to meet our content standards and may be incomplete. We are committed to editing, enhancing, and medically reviewing all content by March 31, 2025. Please check back soon, and thank you for visiting MentalHealth.com. Learn more about our content standards here.

Profile image placeholder
Author Sally Connolly

Sally Connolly has been a therapist for over 30 years, specializing in work with couples, families, and relationships. She has expertise with clients both present in the room as well as online through email, phone, and chat therapy.

Published: Jan 12th 2011, Last edited: Sep 25th 2024