What should I do if I’ve lost interest in sex?
Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.
– Written by
Ann Landers
– Updated on September 7, 2025
Question
My husband and I have been married for 5 yrs. We had a good sex life until about a year ago, when I just all of a sudden lost interest. My doctor put me on some medication but so far it hasn`t helped me. My husband is being very understanding but for how long?
- Anne Landers bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne Landers intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- Anne Landers, MentalHealth.com, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Answer
I happen to feel that if you and your husband truly love each other and your intimacy spans more than just sexual intercourse, you should both be able to get through this lull in your sex drive. Clinically, I am not well-versed in the reasons for your loss of interest, however, I can suggest that you not stress yourself out about it. The concern you are placing on your situation could actually be a cause for your behavior.
You might also discuss seeking professional help through a therapist that you and your husband would agree upon seeing. He or she may be able suggest new approaches to love-making or help you explore the reasons for your loss of interest. In the meantime, try to be sensitive to your husbands needs.
If you are completely disinterested in sexual intercourse, there are other ways to express your love. Think about giving your husband a relaxing massage, or plan a romantic getaway or an evening out on the town to possibly spark some interest. Quite possibly, you may need a break from the rigors, stresses, and time constraints of everyday life. Let yourself relax and let things happen as they come.
Hope this helps,
– Anne
Medical Content
The Clinical Affairs Team at MentalHealth.com is a dedicated group of medical professionals with diverse and extensive clinical experience. They actively contribute to the development of content, products, and services, and meticulously review all medical material before publication to ensure accuracy and alignment with current research and conversations in mental health. For more information, please visit the Editorial Policy.
About MentalHealth.com
We are a health technology company that guides people toward self-understanding and connection. The platform provides reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its purpose is to educate, support, and empower people in their pursuit of well-being.
Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a somatic psychologist with more than 20 years of experience in clinical psychology and neuropsychology.
Ann Landers was a writer who specialized in offering advice from the perspective of a mentor or friend. She wrote blogs focused on friendship, romantic relationships, heartbreak, and beyond.
Be the first to read new articles from Ann Landers
Join MentalHealth.com for free to get updates
Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.
– Written by
Ann Landers
– Updated on September 7, 2025
Additional Reading
The Clinical Affairs Team at MentalHealth.com is a dedicated group of medical professionals with diverse and extensive clinical experience. They actively contribute to the development of content, products, and services, and meticulously review all medical material before publication to ensure accuracy and alignment with current research and conversations in mental health. For more information, please visit the Editorial Policy.
We are a health technology company that guides people toward self-understanding and connection. The platform provides reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its purpose is to educate, support, and empower people in their pursuit of well-being.