Why am I such a homebody?
Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.
– Written by
Ann Landers
– Updated on September 7, 2025
Question
I am a full-time homemaker, and I love it. I have a friend of eight years, and we both have children close to the same age. She is driving me crazy! She schedules events for me, my husband, her husband… She wants to be a part of my everyday life. If I pull back, she accuses me of being mad at her. I do have other friends, but I am also a homebody.
I like to socialize a little, then retreat to my homemaking. She never stops. I have little time for anyone else. I am 37 she is 40. My husband and kids are starting to notice that I resent her phone calls. I stopped calling her. I try to do things with her, but she always wants more.
Somehow I look bad to her family, as well as my family. Is something wrong with me that I am so content with just staying home? I am seen as unsocial. I know I am a nice person, but I resent this intrusion. When she plans things, my kids they know before me. This upsets things; I feel I have to go along to please my children.
Thanks so much.
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Answer
There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay at home. Some of us are just more social than others… Have you tried talking with your friend and telling her how you feel? She should not be upset with you as long as she sees that you are being truthful with her.
Does she have other friends? Would it be possible to introduce her to some of your other friends? Try inviting some of your friends along the next time the two of you have plans.
This would provide an opportunity for her to meet new people. It would also help her to realize that you have friends other than her.
Hope things work out,
– Anne
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Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a somatic psychologist with more than 20 years of experience in clinical psychology and neuropsychology.
Ann Landers was a writer who specialized in offering advice from the perspective of a mentor or friend. She wrote blogs focused on friendship, romantic relationships, heartbreak, and beyond.
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Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.
– Written by
Ann Landers
– Updated on September 7, 2025
Additional Reading
The Clinical Affairs Team at MentalHealth.com is a dedicated group of medical professionals with diverse and extensive clinical experience. They actively contribute to the development of content, products, and services, and meticulously review all medical material before publication to ensure accuracy and alignment with current research and conversations in mental health. For more information, please visit the Editorial Policy.
We are a health technology company that guides people toward self-understanding and connection. The platform provides reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its purpose is to educate, support, and empower people in their pursuit of well-being.