Why has anxiety taken over my life?
Question
I’m 23 years old and currently work full-time for New York State.
My first experience with anxiety occurred during my junior year of high school in a Medical Technology class when a girl sitting next to me fainted. Although I had fainted before myself, this incident affected me in an entirely different way. I didn’t know what was wrong with her, and I suddenly began to sweat and panic. I ran out of the classroom and went to the nurse, who told me I’d likely had a mild anxiety attack and had me lie down for a while.
I managed to continue with my day, but when I returned to that classroom the next day, I was overwhelmed by fear. The smell of the room, the sight of the girl, everything about it terrified me. I felt as if I were walking into something dangerous. I began to cry uncontrollably and experienced the same panic as before. I had to leave school, and from then on, each attempt to return triggered the same reaction. I nearly didn’t graduate and had to rely on tutoring for four months just to pass.
Since then, I’ve seen several doctors, but I can’t seem to make it past the first visit without panicking and leaving. I have a deep fear of doctors and anything related to medical environments. My anxiety has also expanded to include a wide range of phobias: elevators, crowded spaces, traveling long distances, heights, enclosed areas, heat, and even death. It’s getting progressively worse, and it’s left me feeling depressed and hopeless.
I’m currently taking Xanax, prescribed by my primary care physician, and while it helps, I don’t want to rely on it anymore. I’m desperate for a better solution. At 23, I should be enjoying life, but I can’t even walk into a mall without feeling like I’m in danger. It’s terrifying and exhausting. Strangely, I can write about this easily, but when I try to talk about it in person, I shut down completely and often cry.
I don’t understand what’s happening to me, and I wish I did. If you have any advice, guidance, or suggestions, I would be incredibly grateful. Thank you so much for your time. I truly appreciate it.
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Answer
What you are experiencing is typical of how an anxiety can turn into a phobia and panic attacks. You were probably prone to anxiety before the experience in the classroom. However, the anxiety attack worsened so that the very next day after the classmate fainted, you experienced panic.
Left untreated anxiety disorders worsen and turn into phobia and panic attacks. That is what is happening to you. You need to get the correct kind of help for this disorder. Rather than medical doctors you need to see a clinical psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavior therapy. The emphasis is on behavior and anti medication cannot and will not change behavior.
Xanax is commonly prescribed for anxiety of all types. Your primary care physician should have referred you to a clinical psychologist but instead gave you a prescription and left it at that. Xanax won’t help you recover except that it will reduce the immediate anxiety. That is not enough. Worse, Xanax is addicting and you should speak to the same doctor about safely getting off of it.
Please understand that it is common for people with these anxiety disorders to get depressed because of the way they impact on daily life. Please find the right kind of clinical psychologist, one who practices cognitive behavior therapy because that works best for your problems. Be assured that your anxiety and panic problems are very treatable and there is no reason why you should not recover with the correct treatment.
Good luck.