As society becomes increasingly open about sexuality and pornography, confusion surrounding its impact is at an all-time high.

Pornography exposure and confusion in the modern world
Pornography consumption has reached unprecedented levels, driven by easy internet access and a growing social acceptance. While some people are comfortable with porn use, many are negatively impacted and searching for answers.
Whether it is grappling with ethics within a religious framework, experiencing a sudden attraction to same-sex partners without prior feelings, or undergoing a strained relationship because of porn addiction, it is clear that pornography’s impact can leave people uncertain and confused.
How does early exposure to pornography create confusion?
Early exposure to porn has been shown to trigger feelings of excitement, curiosity, pleasure, and embarrassment simultaneously.[1] Most adolescents report feelings of embarrassment and discomfort, due to contradictory feelings surrounding consumption of sexually explicit material.[1]
Exposure to adult images and videos at a young age can also negatively impact the psychological development of children. Consequently, this can lead to problems later in life. In fact, high levels of porn consumption at a young age increases the risk for misconduct and unrealistic or harmful attitudes.[1] Over time, these attitudes tend to progress, sometimes resulting in misogyny, dominating sexual partners, or even abuse.
Young, impressionable minds can easily be misguided into believing that pornography represents society’s sexual norms. Young girls exposed to pornography have a greater likelihood of drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and entering into unhealthy relationships. Young boys increase their chances of treating women as sexual objects and may become sexually aggressive.[2]
How does early sexual trauma influence pornography consumption?
Early sexual trauma sets a young person up for ongoing confusion mentally, emotionally, and physically. In these instances, it is not uncommon for someone to reach toward pornography in an unconscious attempt to process their experience. Often someone in this situation is searching for control or feelings of empowerment, unconsciously repeating their past, or striving to heal cognitive dissonance.
- Control: For individuals who have experienced early sexual trauma, seeking control over a previously uncontrollable situation is an attempt to regain a sense of safety. In this case, pornography can serve as a pseudo controlled environment where the viewer feels in charge of their sexual experience. A felt sense of control, albeit short-lived, can compensate for underlying feelings of vulnerability.
- Unconscious Repetition: In some cases, porn consumption is an attempt to validate internal beliefs that were created during the original traumatic event. These beliefs include feelings of unworthiness, being guilty or at fault, or even being worthy of punishment. It is easy to find pornographic content that mirrors past events, allowing someone to effectively mirror back to themselves their internal belief system. While this may seem counterintuitive to most, a person is essentially trying to work through their unconscious pain.
- Empowerment: Some individuals seek out experiences that will provide them with the feeling of agency in an effort to feel more empowered. While consciously developing a felt sense of agency is healthy, it is easy to mistake feelings of empowerment for true empowerment. For example, a dominatrix may appear to have control over another person, yet, the porn viewer may ultimately be trying to overcompensate for her own feelings of powerlessness.
- Cognitive Dissonance: Children who have experienced sexual trauma often face cognitive dissonance as their body’s natural, autonomic reaction to touch may be out of sync with their emotions. When this happens, there is a risk of linking pleasure with harmful events or people. Additionally, cognitive dissonance can manifest in a person’s preferred style of porn.
Confusion caused by pornography consumption has a two-way relationship based on a person’s sexual history and the impact of pornography itself. Deep psychological effects such as distorted perceptions of intimacy and difficulties in forming healthy sexual relationships can fuel challenges both with porn and with personal relationships.
The psychological impact of pornography exposure
The everyday stressors that surround pornography have the potential to touch every area of a person’s life. Common areas of internal conflict lie within sexual preoccupation, sexual preferences, and sexual orientation.
- Sexual Preoccupation and Addiction: Individuals who continually crave porn, and the satisfaction they receive from watching it, often find themselves stuck in an addictive pattern. The neurological effects of porn addiction create a cycle of dependency that results in dopamine depletion and the need for more stimuli to achieve the same result. It can be confusing for people to find themselves unable to control their thoughts, urges, and behavior as porn use becomes a central part of their day.
- Sexual Orientation: A quick internet search reveals a growing number of people who feel confused about their sexual orientation after watching pornography. Research supports this, showing a link between frequent porn consumption and greater sexual flexibility [3]. For those who have never experienced same-sex attraction, it can be disorienting to try to navigate these new feelings. In an effort to understand their emotions, some dabble in same-sex relationships in search of clarity, while others pursue counseling or spiritual mentorship.
- Sexual Preferences: Porn use can shift people’s sexual desires through the power of suggestion and the pleasure they experience as they watch specific scenes. Initially this can feel exciting, but it may become troubling when they find themselves aroused by scenes that feel incongruent with their self-identity. For example, a conservative person may be alarmed at the fact that BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism) has become a new fantasy for them.
Pornography and relationships
Porn consumption has the ability to create challenges for people whether they are single or partnered. The effects of pornography on relationships often includes whether or not both people are in agreement about its usage, especially related to whether or not it’s considered an act of infidelity.
While there are some relationships that find value in porn use, a high number of studies report that pornography within a committed relationship creates negative outcomes. Additionally, pornography use has been proven to lead to less sexual satisfaction and challenges related to commitment.[4]
Common issues related to porn include erosion of trust, unrealistic sexual expectations, body image issues, decreased intimacy between partners, and less satisfaction in bed. [4] Women in particular, have reported feeling betrayed by their partner’s porn use.[4] Men, on the other hand, tend to feel inadequate related to sexual performance.
Lack of awareness can also fuel conflict. For example, if one partner secretly watches porn, but feels ashamed about it, they may unconsciously project their self-judgement onto their partner. This creates an atmosphere of uncertainty, which can be confusing for both individuals.
Couples can begin to heal a relationship strained by pornography through open communication and establishing clear boundaries. The success of their process largely depends on both partners’ willingness to invest in the effort needed to rebuild trust and strengthen their connection.
How to know if porn consumption is a problem
Pornography consumption and confusion not only intersect with cultural norms and relationships, but also with getting help. How can someone know if they have a problem? What exactly, if anything, is considered normal porn use?
Signs to look out for when assessing whether porn is an issue include:
- Preoccupation with porn
- Needing to view it more frequently
- Using porn in place of sexual intimacy
- Increased anxiety or depression
- Seeking more extreme types of porn
- Challenges with focus
- Difficulty handling stress and emotions
Studies have proven that high-levels of porn use contribute to hypersexual behavior, low self-esteem, sexual dysfunction, and behavioral problems. [5] They have also shown a correlation between anxiety disorders and pornography consumption.
Given the significance of the consequences of porn misuse, it’s important to understand that making a change requires more than just willpower. Many individuals find they need professional support to make true, long-lasting change.
Healing from porn use
Healing an unhealthy relationship with pornography requires people face the underlying issues that motivated them to reach for porn in the first place. Whether there is a neurological pattern from repeat exposure, unresolved trauma, or a propensity toward addictive behavior, overcoming porn misuse requires a holistic approach that addresses the whole person.
Setting boundaries, finding someone to help with accountability, and identifying triggers are helpful steps when healing from porn misuse or porn addiction. It can also be extremely beneficial to treat underlying mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.
In the case of addiction, a person may find themselves feeling powerless over porn’s impact on their lives. In cases where there is an inability to control oneself, it can be extremely helpful to seek professional support.
Professional help for unhealthy porn consumption
Many people realize that professional help is crucial for addressing the underlying psychological issues that perpetuate porn use. When it comes to behavioral addictions, many have found help through therapeutic interventions such as cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and motivational interviewing. Additional interventions include peer-led support groups, spiritual mentorship, and treatment programs.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps people identify how their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are interconnected. The goal of this type of therapy is to bring awareness to a person’s inner-world with the intention of helping them recognize maladaptive tendencies so they can replace them with healthier alternatives.
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy: Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that emphasizes acceptance as a foundational tenet for change. By embracing self-acceptance and reducing self-contempt, it becomes easier to shift how a person sees themselves. Once an internal shift takes place, it is easier to create an external shift in behavior.
- Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy focuses on how unconscious motives drive behavior. Childhood experiences and pivotal life experiences are examined so people can better understand how their past impacts their present life. This approach will support people in looking at the root causes of their addictive tendencies.
- Motivational Interviewing: Motivational interviewing was originally created to help addicts develop motivation for change. It is a person-centered intervention that helps build intrinsic motivation for change. This can be especially helpful for those who experience a lot of ambivalence as it relates to their readiness for change.
- Peer Support Groups: Peer-led support groups help people connect with others who have gone through similar challenges, but who are further along in their recovery. This allows for greater vulnerability, mentorship, and accountability. The most well-known support groups for addictive tendencies include the 12 Steps and SMART Recovery.
- Treatment Programs: With the rise of porn addiction, there are now dedicated treatment programs that address porn consumption specifically. Some inpatient programs for substance use disorder also treat porn and sex addiction. Individuals who do not need inpatient care can explore outpatient programs that focus on addressing the root causes of porn misuse and the neurochemical changes necessary for lasting recovery.
- Spiritual Mentorship: Spiritual mentorship and faith-based programs are on the rise. Many churches openly speak out about porn addiction and offer services to individuals who want help. Prayer, meditation, fellowship, and forgiveness rituals, including self-forgiveness, are often a part of these programs.
Many people find it beneficial to combine approaches, allowing them to experience the benefit of multiple strategies. By integrating professional guidance, peer-support, and spiritual guidance, individuals can create a more balanced, holistic path to healing.
- “The Impact of Internet Pornography on Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review.” Science Direct, vol. 1, no. 1, 2024, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0013700624000459.
- Perry, Samuel L., and Cyrus Schleifer. “Till Porn Do Us Part? A Longitudinal Examination of Pornography Use and Divorce.” SAGE Open, vol. 8, no. 3, July 2018, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2158244018786640.
- Komlenac, Nikola, and Margarethe Hochleitner. “Associations Between Pornography Consumption, Sexual Flexibility, and Sexual Functioning Among Austrian Adults.” Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol. 51, no. 2, 2022, pp. 1323–1336. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8888391/.
- Maas, Megan K., et al. “A Dyadic Approach to Pornography Use and Relationship Satisfaction among Heterosexual Couples: The Role of Pornography Acceptance and Anxious Attachment.” The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 55, no. 6, 2018, pp. 772–782. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6155976/.
- Qadri, Haseeb Mehmood, et al. “Physiological, Psychosocial and Substance Abuse Effects of Pornography Addiction: A Narrative Review.” Cureus, vol. 15, no. 1, Jan. 2023, e33703. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9922938/.
Our Medical Affairs Team is a dedicated group of medical professionals with diverse and extensive clinical experience who actively contribute to the development of our content, products, and services. They meticulously evaluate and review all medical content before publication to ensure it is medically accurate and aligned with current discussions and research developments in mental health. For more information, visit our Editorial Policy.
MentalHealth.com is a health technology company guiding people towards self-understanding and connection. The platform provides reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its purpose is to educate, support, and empower people in their pursuit of well-being.
Lesley Wirth is a health and wellness writer with 8+ years of clinical experience in mental health, trauma care, and end-of-life support.
Dr. Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a somatic psychologist with 20+ years of experience. He holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, specializing in somatic and neuropsychology, and a master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Santa Barbara Graduate Institute.
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Our Medical Affairs Team is a dedicated group of medical professionals with diverse and extensive clinical experience who actively contribute to the development of our content, products, and services. They meticulously evaluate and review all medical content before publication to ensure it is medically accurate and aligned with current discussions and research developments in mental health. For more information, visit our Editorial Policy.
MentalHealth.com is a health technology company guiding people towards self-understanding and connection. The platform provides reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its purpose is to educate, support, and empower people in their pursuit of well-being.