What does it mean if I’m attracted to men and women?
Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.
– Written by
Ann Landers
– Updated on September 7, 2025
Question
‘m a 20 year-old junior in college who can’t decide if I am gay or not. I am a male. Sometimes I find women attractive, and then I find certain men attractive. Is this weird? I’ve had only girlfriends. I’m scared that if I am gay, I will lose most, if not all, of my friends. I can’t concentrate on anything else. My grades are falling, and I never feel like going out anymore. What do I do? How do I find out?
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Answer
It is possible to be bisexual. Maybe you should try experiencing with men for a while. The Internet has some great sources of information on homosexuality. Learning about the topic more might make your decision a little easier, or at least it will help to understand it. It might clear up some of your confusion. It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to both sexes at the same time.
You are not at all weird, just a little confused. When you do find out your sexuality, make sure you choose the right time to tell your friends. They may not understand it, and that is why they make fun of it. If they truly are your friends, they will understand or at least try. If they do not, then I suggest you make new friends and move on. Try not to over-think your situation though.
Your grades are important too. I know you are very confused, and of course this is all you can think about until you find the answer, but try not to let it overcome your life. When you do find out, I’m sure that everything will fall into place. Best of luck, – Anne
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We are a health technology company that guides people toward self-understanding and connection. The platform provides reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its purpose is to educate, support, and empower people in their pursuit of well-being.
Jesse Hanson, Ph.D., is a somatic psychologist with more than 20 years of experience in clinical psychology and neuropsychology.
Ann Landers was a writer who specialized in offering advice from the perspective of a mentor or friend. She wrote blogs focused on friendship, romantic relationships, heartbreak, and beyond.
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Jesse Hanson, Ph.D.
– Written by
Ann Landers
– Updated on September 7, 2025
Additional Reading
The Clinical Affairs Team at MentalHealth.com is a dedicated group of medical professionals with diverse and extensive clinical experience. They actively contribute to the development of content, products, and services, and meticulously review all medical material before publication to ensure accuracy and alignment with current research and conversations in mental health. For more information, please visit the Editorial Policy.
We are a health technology company that guides people toward self-understanding and connection. The platform provides reliable resources, accessible services, and nurturing communities. Its purpose is to educate, support, and empower people in their pursuit of well-being.