Improving Self-Esteem by Shifting Negative Thoughts

Self-concept is a person’s perception and understanding of themselves, including their beliefs, thoughts, values, and overall sense of identity. It answers the question, “Who am I?” and shapes how individuals see themselves in relation to the world.

When people consistently think negatively about themselves, their self-concept is harmed, leading to low self-esteem. Fortunately, it is possible to rewire the mind, so positive thinking and strong self-esteem occur automatically, even in difficult situations. ^[1][2]

Consistently focusing on positive or realistic thoughts after a negative thought can train the brain to create new neural pathways (or thinking patterns). This is known in as neuroplasticity. ^[2]

Brain connections or thinking patterns strengthen and become more efficient with repeated use. Many tools can be used to counter negative thoughts and begin building new neural pathways, including the reframing techniques in this article. ^[2]

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can also help to rewire the brain. Regardless of the reframing methods you use, ultimately, you can choose how you react mentally to stressful circumstances, and your focus largely determines the level of peace you experience. ^[3]

What are negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts are self-critical or pessimistic thoughts that undermine confidence and create a sense of worthlessness. Negative thinking can significantly lower self-esteem and contribute to mental health issues by reinforcing feelings of hopelessness and failure.

Cognitive distortions are automatic patterns of negative, irrational thinking that convince the thinker they represent reality. Dr. Aaron Beck, a pioneer of CBT, identified distorted thinking as a key cause of anxiety and depression. ^[3]

Distorted thoughts often involve exaggerating flaws, focusing on worst-case scenarios, or ignoring positive evidence. This can lead to negative self-perception, feelings of powerlessness, unworthiness, or being incapable. ^[3]

Cognitive Distortions

Building on the work of Dr. Beck, Dr. David Burns outlined 10 common cognitive distortions linked to negative emotions. Identifying the cognitive distortions you struggle with is an important first step in rewiring the brain. Take a look at the distortions below to see if you can relate: ^[3]

All or Nothing Thinking

Viewing situations in black-and-white terms, with no middle ground. For example, a successful real estate agent makes one mistake regarding signing a document and thinks, “I’m terrible at my job.” ^[3]

Overgeneralization

Making broad conclusions based on a single event. For example, after hearing about one person from France being arrested for theft, thinking “All French people are thieves.” ^[3]

Mental Filter

Focusing only on a situation’s negative aspects. For example, receiving positive feedback on a presentation but being convinced it was a complete failure because of stumbling over a few words. ^[3]

Discounting the Positives

Ignoring or rejecting positive experiences. For example, passing a driving test on the first try but dismissing the evidence and thinking, “It was probably just luck. I’m not actually good at driving.” ^[3]

Jumping to Conclusions

Making assumptions without evidence. For example, a person sees a coworker talking to the manager, and because they didn’t greet them afterward, the person assumes, “They’re upset with me, and I’m going to get in trouble.” ^[3]

Magnification or Minimization

Exaggerating or minimizing the importance of something. For example, if someone accidentally hurts their friend’s feelings, magnification could be “Now they probably hate me, and our friendship is ruined forever.” On the other hand, minimizing could look like “I didn’t do anything wrong. There’s no need to apologize.” ^[3]

Emotional Reasoning

Believing emotions reflect objective reality. For example, if a person’s partner is out with friends and the person is feeling insecure, they could interpret these feelings as reality and start thinking that their partner doesn’t care about them or the relationship. ^[3]

“Should” Statements

Holding yourself or others to unrealistic standards or expectations according to what you think “should” happen. For example, “My partner should always know exactly how I feel without me having to explain it.” ^[3]

Labeling

Identifying yourself through your flaws. For example, “I made a mistake in that conversation, so I’m an idiot.” ^[3]

Personalizing or Blame

Taking something personally, or blaming others and not taking responsibility. An example of personalizing is if a friend cancels plans last minute because they’re feeling unwell, and a person assumes it’s because they don’t want to spend time with them. An example of blaming is, “I didn’t go for a run because my friend didn’t come with me.” ^[3]

The Importance of Reframing Your Thoughts

John D. Kelly writes in the National Library of Medicine, “Just as breathing happens without our conscious control, negative thinking will always occupy a chamber of our minds. We can empower these thoughts, allowing them to undermine our mood, or we can recognize them for what they truly are – distortions conceived in emotional pain.” ^[3]

In other words, negative thinking can occur at a subconscious level. The key to shifting thinking towards the positive is to develop skills that bring subconscious distorted beliefs to the surface so you can consciously choose to reframe them. Many techniques can be used to achieve this, both from the comfort of your home or with the assistance of a therapist.

Neuroplasticity: The Science of Reframing Negative Thoughts

Scientists have found our thoughts and emotions significantly influence our brain’s structure and function. The brain is not unchangeable, as once thought, but constantly evolving and rewiring itself. When it comes to the benefits of reframing negative thoughts, the results can be life-changing. ^[2]

Neuroplasticity offers the potential to create a more joyful and fulfilling life, and mastering it is entirely within your control. You can permanently rewire your brain by tapping into the mind’s capacity for change. In time, continuously reframing your thoughts and emotions can positively affect your behaviors and overall well-being. ^[2]

An optimistic brain naturally focuses on the positive, seeking solutions instead of fixating on problems and bouncing back from challenges with resilience. Thinking positively is not about ignoring life’s struggles or seeing everything as “meant to be”; it is about training your mind to maintain a balanced perspective and improve emotional regulation. ^[2]

Part of this involves consciously seeking opportunities for personal growth and striving to give back to humanity when things don’t go how you had hoped. Learning to reframe negative thinking is a skill that can be developed over time and is like building a smooth, well-maintained positivity pathway in your mind. ^[2]

Techniques for Reframing Negative Thoughts

It has been scientifically proven that suppressing negative thoughts can lower self-esteem, increase anxiety and depression, and impact mood and self-concept. As a result, the first step towards rewiring the brain to think positively is to identify negative thoughts or cognitive distortions. ^[1]

Mindfulness can help with this. It is not realistic to think positively all the time. Instead, mindfulness teaches us to accept thoughts and emotions like the weather, sometimes cloudy and sometimes sunny. Instead of pushing negative thoughts away, allow them to pass through the mind like clouds and practice thought reframing until you can see the bright side again. ^[3]

If you consistently use techniques like the ones listed below, you can retrain your mind to automatically develop a more positive outlook on life:

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring involves identifying negative thoughts and challenging their validity by examining evidence for and against them. This technique is beneficial in dealing with cognitive distortions, which are irrational negative thoughts. For example, consider the real estate agent who made a mistake with a document and thinks, “I’m terrible at my job.”

Instead of allowing all-or-nothing thinking to take over and lead to other negative thoughts, the person could consciously search for evidence to support that they are, in fact, good at their job. For example, if they work in real estate, they could recall the sales that went smoothly.

Another example could be a friend not replying to a text message for a few days, with thoughts such as “Nobody wants to be my friend” or “They don’t like me” arising. To cognitively restructure these cognitive distortions, the thinker could imagine various scenarios that might keep the friend busy and remind themselves that their negative thoughts have no evidence.

Cognitive restructuring can help to keep the mind focused on reality instead of worst-case scenarios. Morgan Scott Peck, an American psychiatrist and best-selling author, says, “Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs.” A more serene quality of life can be achieved by remembering that cognitive distortions are not reality.

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are “I” statements such as “I love myself,” “I am kind,” or “I can achieve my dreams” that people repeat to themselves, typically daily, to promote a positive mindset, boost self-esteem, and reinforce goals.

They can also be used to counteract negative beliefs. For example, if a person believes they don’t deserve happiness or success, they can repeat statements like “I deserve happiness” and “I deserve success.”

A study using brain scans showed that when people practiced self-affirmation, certain brain areas were more active, which predicted positive changes in behavior, such as increased physical activity. ^[4]

Affirmations can be written in list form, repeated in the mind, or spoken verbally. Many people find empowerment in saying affirmations in front of the mirror, but they can also be worked into a daily routine by repeating them during mundane tasks.

Self-Compassion

Acts of kindness, such as self-compassion, release feel-good chemicals like endorphins and oxytocin while also strengthening brain pathways, making kindness easier over time. Even imagining kindness can activate the brain’s system for soothing and emotional connection, showing how it can become a natural, self-reinforcing habit. ^[5]

On the other hand, research has revealed self-criticism’s links with depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. Negative self-talk activates brain areas that reinforce negative feelings. In contrast, self-reassurance engages positive brain regions connected to compassion and empathy, promoting emotional well-being. ^[6]

Practicing self-compassion by treating yourself with understanding and kindness after making a mistake or experiencing cognitive distortions can help shift the brain’s response from self-critical to self-supportive. In other words, treating negative thoughts with compassion and then practicing reframing techniques can lead to positive thoughts and feelings. ^[6]

Practical Exercises to Reframe Your Thoughts

The best way to rewire your brain is through reframing techniques and practical exercises. Affirmations, journaling, visualization, and gratitude practices can all help to shift from a negative mindset to a positive one.

Journaling

Journaling is a valuable tool for cognitive restructuring, as it can be used to identify and challenge cognitive distortions or harsh self-criticism. Often, writing allows one to uncover subconscious negative beliefs at the root of negative thoughts. Once people become aware of these root beliefs, they can change negative thoughts to positive ones.

When journaling, draw a line down the middle of a page. Write your irrational negative thoughts about yourself in the left-hand column, and then use cognitive restructuring to find evidence that counteracts the negative belief. Write any contradictory evidence in the right-hand column, then create an affirmation based on the positive thoughts to use daily.

Gratitude

Practicing gratitude involves counting blessings at the start or end of the day. To do this, create a gratitude journal and aim to list 10 things you are grateful for each day. Alternatively, you can work it into your daily routine by mentally listing blessings while performing other tasks like driving or brushing your teeth.

A four-week study tested how practicing general gratitude affects a person’s mood more positively than focusing on things to be grateful for in one day. While gratitude boosted positive emotions immediately, consistent effort over time was key to maintaining the benefits and changing neural pathways. ^[7]

Visualization

Visualization is the practice of creating mental images or scenarios in your mind, often involving imagining a desired outcome or experience. It can be used to imagine positive outcomes or experiences in any area of life. Research has found that visualizing your best possible self effectively improves and sustains a positive mood. ^[7]

To visualize your best possible self, consider who you want to be. Imagine your newfound positive attitude, how you carry yourself, contribute to your relationships, navigate your daily routine and hobbies, and anything else important to you. By regularly practicing visualization, you can begin to think more positively.

Seeking Support in the Reframing Process

When reframing negative thoughts, seeking support from trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals is essential. Sharing challenges with others can lead to encouragement, perspective, and guidance – compassionate qualities that help with cognitive reframing.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) offers practical tools and strategies to help individuals recognize and challenge distorted thinking patterns and replace them with more balanced thoughts. This can improve self-esteem. CBT is a form of cognitive restructuring used alongside other reframing techniques and exercises.

CBT focuses on identifying the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, which helps develop healthier ways of thinking and responding to situations. With the assistance of a therapist, one can build confidence, break free from negative self-perceptions, and cultivate a more positive and resilient mindset over time.

Key Takeaways

Many techniques and practices can permanently rewire the brain and shift automatic negative thinking into automatic positive thinking. These include support, cognitive restructuring, positive affirmations, journaling, gratitude, and visualization.

All of these methods (when used repeatedly) can build self-esteem and improve overall happiness levels by changing negative neural pathways in the brain and creating new positive ones. While this doesn’t mean everlasting euphoria, with practice, it becomes easier to reframe your thoughts instantly, at any time or place.