The Role of Parenting in Childhood Development

A parent’s role in a child’s life is far-reaching, impacting how a child learns, regulates emotions, and interacts with others and the world around them. Warmth, encouragement, and consistency help children build confidence and develop healthy coping skills. Negative or inconsistent interactions can make it harder for children to manage emotions and navigate challenges.

Every aspect of parenting, from offering emotional support to setting boundaries and encouraging curiosity or social connections, plays an important role in a child’s development. Understanding these choices and how children are impacted by their parents (or their primary caregivers) lays the groundwork for finding ways to best support healthy childhood development.

Secure Attachment Foundations

How a child is emotionally supported has an early and significant impact on childhood development, particularly when forming secure attachments. A strong emotional bond between a child and their primary caregiver is the foundation for lifelong emotional stability and strong mental health. 

Referred to as “attachment parenting,” this parenting style focuses on responding promptly and sensitively to a child’s needs, offering comfort and reassurance. Often associated with certain parenting practices like breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, or responsive discipline, attachment parenting usually promotes physical closeness and teaches connection over control as a path to emotional regulation ^[1].

Early secure attachment and emotional support from parents help children feel safe and valued, in turn encouraging self-confidence and emotional resilience. Children with secure attachments tend to display better emotional regulation, more positive relationships, and higher self-esteem not only in childhood but throughout their lives. In contrast, insecure attachments can cause dysfunctional effects or poor mental health outcomes that also extend into adulthood ^[2].

Ultimately, emotional support from caregivers to children extends beyond fulfilling their basic needs. It encompasses a parent or caregiver’s daily interactions, responses, and emotional availability. How a parent responds to a child and how that child perceives those responses significantly impacts their mental health and emotional development from childhood into adulthood. 

How to raise children in an emotionally supportive way:

• Demonstrate affection 
• Encourage the child with positive words and actions
• Listen with presence and respond to emotional cues
• Validate emotions
• Reassure and comfort the child 
• Show understanding of mistakes and use gentle discipline

Consistent emotional support from a parent or caregiver during formative years builds trust and a healthy sense of self-worth that lasts a lifetime. 

4 Approaches to Parenting

Parents hold different beliefs when it comes to raising children, but there are four well-known patterns of parenting styles as established by Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist. The choice of parenting style greatly influences all aspects of a child’s development, and many parents incorporate practices from more than one approach.

Authoritative Parenting

Parents set warm, clear boundaries and understand how to support children. The parent is responsive to needs and balances nurturing with a firm hand. This approach helps children develop strong emotional regulation and social skills. The child also tends to display independence and resilience ^[3].

Authoritarian Parenting

The parent enforces strict rules, has high expectations, and raises the child not to question authority. The environment often lacks warmth and love. Children are obedient and often perform well academically. Research shows children of authoritative parents can struggle with self-esteem and social skills ^[3].

Permissive Parenting

This parent lacks firm boundaries and displays heightened warmth and affection. While children may feel supported emotionally, navigating social norms and expectations is challenging ^[3]. Impulsive behaviors and a lack of appropriate self-control can occur throughout developmental stages, including the terrible twos and teenage years.

Neglectful Parenting

There is emotional neglect and little parental involvement in the child’s life. Children may face severe consequences in various environments ^[3]. The lack of guidance and care may lead to poor emotional regulation and higher rates of delinquent behavior.

The way a parent chooses to raise their child has lasting effects, shaping not just immediate behavior but also long-term emotional well-being.

Nurturing Brain Development

The intellectual stimulation a parent provides greatly impacts a child’s cognitive development. Parents who engage in activities like talking and reading to children early and often and encouraging play or age-appropriate educational games all support a child’s cognitive growth.

Studies show that early childhood learning experiences are critical in brain development, with early exposure to language and problem-solving tasks enhancing a child’s intellectual capacity ^[4]. Children exposed to a rich learning environment, with opportunities to read and hear stories and introductions to age-appropriate yet complex concepts, often demonstrate higher achievement in school and later in life.

Encouraging curiosity, answering questions, and providing opportunities for exploration contribute to a child’s critical thinking and creativity skills. Moreover, positive reinforcement and constructive feedback nurture a child’s growth mindset. This involves helping children to view mistakes as learning opportunities and try new tasks, even at the risk of failure. 

Conversely, a lack of cognitive stimulation, such as limited access to books or conversations with adults and peers, can result in delayed cognitive development and poorer academic performance ^[4].

Modeling Social Behavior 

Parents model and reinforce social behaviors every day. Children watch closely as trusted caregivers react to stress and problem-solve. Every action teaches children how to communicate, behave, and resolve conflicts. 

Parents who show empathy in tense situations model positive behaviors, while demonstrating cooperation and teamwork helps children develop skills for forming healthy relationships ^[5]. In contrast, parents who engage in negative behaviors, such as aggression or emotional withdrawal, may inadvertently teach a child unhealthy ways of interacting with others. There are many ways parents can manage stress so they model positive behaviors for their children, including:

• Practicing mindfulness
• Setting appropriate boundaries
• Prioritizing self-care
• Using calm, clear, and respectful communication 

Parental involvement in social activities, such as playdates or family gatherings, also contributes to the child’s social skills development. The parent corrects negative behaviors or models a different behavior if the child reacts abruptly or inappropriately. In these situations, the child is exposed to new perspectives and diverse personalities. The result of these interactions and the modeled behavior of others helps the child develop skills and successful peer relationship strategies ^[5].

The formation of strong social connections is linked to improved emotional health and success through the youngest years, pre-teen stage, and later life. Moreover, a parent’s sensitivity to a child’s social needs, such as encouraging friendships and supporting positive peer relationships, assists the child in developing social competence and emotional intelligence.

Positive Discipline 

Disciplining a child can be uncomfortable, but it is a fundamental aspect of parenting that contributes to a child’s behavioral development. Positive discipline emphasizes teaching children appropriate behavior through consistency and understanding. In contrast, negative and punitive discipline involves punishment or control ^[6].

Examples of Positive Discipline: 

• Setting clear expectations
• Using natural consequences
• Reinforcing positive behaviors 
• Modeling appropriate behaviors
• Offering choices

Parents who use positive discipline strategies help children internalize appropriate behaviors and develop a strong moral compass. This approach encourages self-control and responsibility while supporting families in developing positive parent-child relationships.

In contrast, harsh or punitive discipline techniques, such as physical punishment or verbal reprimands, can lead to behavioral problems. Children exposed to these discipline methods are at risk of experiencing anxious or depressed feelings. One might struggle with emotional regulation when discipline feels painful and scary, and especially harsh discipline can undermine a child’s sense of self-worth and the ability to develop empathy ^[3].

Parents who moderate feelings and effectively manage stress have an easier time responding to children with positive discipline. This requires practice. Support from a therapist or family counselor is beneficial, especially when stress levels are high. Professionals combine psychodynamic clinical research, theory, and practice to recommend coping mechanisms and help parents better manage stress ^[7].

Prioritizing Self-Care 

According to Dr. Philip Fisher, an academic expert in child development, “The presence of a supportive, consistent, and protective primary caregiver is the factor that makes the biggest difference in healthy development” ^[8]. Prioritizing self-care is one way that a parent can provide a child with this type of environment. 

Focusing on one’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being better equips parents to handle challenges and model appropriate behaviors. For example, a parent might make time for exercise or a favorite hobby, prioritize their own sleep, and practice self-compassion in difficult moments. Finding support groups or seeking professional therapy also provides parents with an outlet for frustrations and opportunities to learn self-care tips or stress management techniques. 

Parents who model the importance of self-care teach children healthy habits and coping mechanisms for managing stress and maintaining well-being. Research suggests that children who grow up in environments where parents practice self-care and self-compassion are more likely to develop positive self-esteem, resilience, and emotional intelligence ^[9]. These are the benefits of not neglecting the self and creating a stable, supportive foundation where the child grows and thrives.

Parenting Shapes Lives

A parent’s role in a child’s development is powerful and clear. From the early establishment of emotional bonds to the shaping of a growth mindset, cognitive abilities, and social skills, the influence of parents or primary caregivers cannot be overstated. 

Parenting styles, emotional support, cognitive stimulation, social interaction, and discipline provide many opportunities to enhance a child’s growth and well-being. Additionally, how a parent models behaviors and prioritizes self-care has a lasting impact on the child. Creating a positive and nurturing environment lays the foundation for lifelong success and the ability to thrive. In such an environment, children develop the skills and resilience to take on challenges in life and transition into well-adjusted, competent adults.