What Makes People Compassionate

Compassion is the emotional thread that connects people through understanding, care, and the desire to ease others’ suffering. While often confused with empathy, compassion goes a step further by motivating people’s actions in response to someone else’s pain. But what makes someone compassionate? And why do some people seem to have more of it than others? Research suggests that compassion may be closely tied to how people navigate adversity, particularly their capacity for emotional resilience.

Compassion vs. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognize and feel what another person is experiencing emotionally. It allows people to see the world through someone else’s eyes. Compassion, however, includes empathy and adds an urge to help or soothe. Where empathy might make us feel someone’s sadness, compassion makes us want to ease that sadness.

This distinction matters. Empathy alone can sometimes lead to emotional exhaustion, especially for those in caregiving roles. Compassion, with its action-oriented response, often leads to a greater sense of purpose and connection. In mental health contexts, this difference helps explain why some therapists, support workers, or caregivers thrive while others may experience burnout.

Resilience and Emotional Recovery

Resilience is the ability to recover from stress and loss. Researchers at the University of California, San Diego (UCSD) found that people who score high in resilience are also more likely to behave compassionately ^[1]. Resilience seems to expand emotional bandwidth, making it easier to recognize another person’s struggles without becoming overwhelmed.

Mental health professionals often refer to this balance as emotional regulation. People who can effectively navigate their own distress are more available to support others. This means that cultivating resilience is good for the self and might be the key to developing a more compassionate mindset.

Resilience can be measured using tools like the Connor-Davidson Resilience Scale (CD-RISC) ^[2], which evaluates a person’s capacity to adapt to change, overcome adversity, and bounce back from hardship. Practices like mindfulness therapy or journaling can help strengthen resilience, contributing to both self-understanding and a more compassionate perspective.

How Loss Shapes Compassion

Experiencing hardship such as loss can deepen emotional understanding. The same UCSD study showed that people who endured recent personal losses, like the death of a spouse or another major life change, were more likely to identify as compassionate.

This makes sense when considering post-traumatic growth, or the idea that meaningful psychological change can emerge after a trauma or loss. When people process grief in a healthy way, they often develop more empathy and a stronger desire to help others. For some, hardship becomes a bridge to deeper emotional insight, which in turn fuels compassionate behavior.

For example, a person experiencing the loss of health through a chronic illness may become more attuned to the daily struggles of others in pain. This depth of understanding becomes a source of emotional strength and compassion.

Patterns in Compassion

The UCSD researchers surveyed over 1,000 adults between the ages of 50 and 99. Their findings revealed some patterns:

• Women reported higher levels of compassion than men.
• Those who were unmarried showed greater compassion than those with a spouse or partner.
• People with larger families tended to be more compassionate and less judgmental.
• Income and race did not significantly affect compassion levels.

Interestingly, beliefs about one’s longevity played a role. Widowed participants who believed they had many years ahead of them were more likely to express compassion than those who anticipated a shorter life.

These findings suggest that compassion may be less about circumstances and more about mindset, relationships, and expectations. All of these factors are closely tied to psychological well-being.

Mental Health Benefits of Compassion

While compassion helps others, it also offers significant benefits to the person offering it. Research links compassionate behavior to improved mood, reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety, and better overall mental health ^[3].

Here are five ways compassion supports emotional well-being:

• Reduced isolation: Acts of compassion help build meaningful social connections, fostering a sense of belonging and community. When people reach out to help others, they often form new relationships or strengthen existing ones. This increased social interaction can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.
• Improved self-worth: Helping others can give people a sense of purpose and value. Engaging in compassionate acts reminds people that they can make a positive difference in someone else’s life. This, in turn, boosts self-esteem and reinforces a positive self-image.
• Better stress management: Compassionate people often develop stronger coping skills when faced with challenges. By focusing on the needs of others, they may gain perspective on their own problems and feel less overwhelmed. Compassionate actions can also activate relaxation responses in the body, helping to counteract stress.
• Increased emotional resilience: Giving support to others can reinforce a person’s sense of identity as someone who is caring and capable. This positive self-concept helps individuals bounce back from adversity more easily. Over time, regularly practicing compassion can build inner strength and adaptability.
• Enhanced mood: Acts of kindness and compassion trigger the release of “feel-good” chemicals in the brain, such as oxytocin and endorphins. These natural mood boosters can increase feelings of happiness and satisfaction. As a result, people who practice compassion often experience a more positive and uplifted emotional state. 

Compassion acts as a protective force for mental health, helping to buffer against stress and emotional challenges. When people care for others, they not only strengthen social bonds but also reinforce their own emotional resilience. This creates a positive cycle that supports overall well-being.

Self-Compassion and Mental Health

While compassion for others is essential, self-compassion is equally important. This is especially true in the context of mental health. Self-compassion means treating oneself with the same kindness and care that one would offer a friend during difficult times.

Research shows that self-compassion is linked to reduced anxiety, lower levels of depression, and greater emotional resilience ^[4]. It helps people move away from harsh self-criticism, which can contribute to mental health challenges. Instead, self-compassion fosters acceptance and emotional safety, allowing people to recover more fully from setbacks.

Therapeutic approaches like Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) or Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) are specifically designed to enhance these skills ^[5]. People who have engaged in these therapies have reported feeling more connected to others, less judgmental of themselves, and better equipped to handle life’s challenges. These structured approaches provide practical tools for anyone looking to develop a more compassionate mindset. For caregivers, clinicians, and anyone in emotionally demanding roles, self-compassion is vital to preventing burnout and maintaining psychological well-being. 

Nurturing Compassion

Despite its many benefits, compassion is not always easy to practice. For instance, compassion fatigue is a state of emotional exhaustion from caring for others that can make it challenging to maintain empathy and kindness. High personal stress, societal pressures, or even cultural norms that discourage emotional expression can also serve as barriers. 

But recognizing these challenges is a first step toward positive change while remembering that compassion can be nurtured. Taking actions like developing a wellness plan, seeking peer support, or finding a therapist can help people overcome these obstacles and sustain compassionate behavior.

Starting a daily compassion practice is something that can be done on one’s own. People can take a moment each day to reflect on a recent challenge and consider how compassion could play a role in responding to it. Even a small gesture of kindness can have a ripple effect, benefiting both the giver and the receiver.

If help is sought, mental health professionals increasingly use interventions that aim to build compassion, both toward others and the self. In addition to CFT and MSC, techniques like loving-kindness meditation and guided imagery are designed to strengthen these skills. 

Even simple practices like volunteering, journaling about acts of kindness, or pausing to consider someone else’s perspective can make compassion a more natural response. In some school and workplace programs, structured compassion training is used to foster social connection and reduce conflict. As with emotional intelligence, the more people practice compassion, the more intuitive it becomes.

Compassion as a Healing Force

More than just a feeling, compassion is a healing force. It creates connection, fosters resilience, and enhances both personal and collective well-being. Whether it is sparked by loss, family ties, or life experience, compassion often grows in response to hardship.

By understanding what nurtures compassion, we can also recognize its importance in mental health. In many ways, learning to be more compassionate toward oneself and others is a powerful step toward healing. As research has shown, compassion is not a soft trait, but a strong one.